Coaching Mindset: It Starts with You - Lindsey Wilson

We think hard work is always the solution. Like I just gotta hustle more. And it's like, well, yeah, definitely hard work, as we all know, is a part of success, but it's not the only thing. And if you're not training your subconscious elephant, it is going to take you in a direction that you don't want to go. And we're thinking that hard work equals success when really it's the mindset stuff that leads to the actions, which lead to the results that we actually want.

Hey friends, welcome back to the Future of Fitness Podcast and Interview Series. This is your host, Eric Malzone, and this is episode number 157. I talked to Lindsay Wilson of Positive Performance Training.com. So uh Lindsay is a very high-level athlete, or she has been through her athletic career. Um now she is an entrepreneur-term mindset coach. And mindset's a big deal. I mean, at least it is for me. And I know in my conversations it is for a lot of people. And how do you approach your days, um, the way in which you see things, how your subconscious drives things. And it's not woo-woo. This is science, people. Like this is a this is a real deal. And what I like about Lindsay um in our conversations is hey, I I like talking to athletes. I think um, you know, it's it's an easy place to um come and meet somebody, um, having that shared background. So we talked a lot about that. Um, because she does a lot of work with athletes as well. But entrepreneurs are very similar. Um, people who are in business for themselves are very similar to athletes. There's a lot of um there's a lot of crossover there for sure. So, you know, not only does she talk about why mindset's important, I think we can all agree upon that, right? Hopefully, if not, call me. Uh but how do we get in there? How do we start making change, right? How do we get into the subconscious level and and start changing things? And she gives a great analogy of the rider on the elephant. And if you haven't heard that one, listen to it. It makes a lot of sense. Um you know, uh we I can only speak from one man's perspective because I'm only a bit in my head, but I can tell you it it makes a lot of sense. And the work that I do every day on myself and my subconscious is is greatly beneficial. And um, yeah, so it's awesome. Lindsay's great, and uh, I'm really excited she came on the show and and dropped all this knowledge on us. So before we get into it, this episode is brought to you by certifiedcoursecreation.com. Uh Kate and I have been doing this um you know officially for a year now, we've launched uh some great certifications um with a lot of success. And we just believe it's it's such a huge area for growth that you know we're investing a lot of our time and energy uh into our clients to get these things out. So if you are someone who um sees the opportunity in the online education space for what it is, which is a tremendous blue ocean of opportunity, um you have a specific knowledge set uh that you have been working on for a long time and you think it's time to get it out in the world, and be you're ready to create something that uh doesn't trade your time for money, that is quote unquote passive income that um can scale drastically, then let us know. Go to certifiedcoursecreation.com. Uh you can read a little bit about us and what we do, and then you can schedule a call. And the call is really important because we're looking for partners, right? Uh we're looking for people who um want to partner with us and we can help them take it all the way. And uh we want to make sure that in a phone call A, we we can help you see where the opportunity is and how big it is. Um, and then we can make a decision on if it's something that we want to work on with you. So go uh go to the website, schedule a call if this uh sounds like something that works for you, and uh we'll we'll have a great conversation. So without further ado, let's get on to it. Episode number 157 with Lindsay Wilson. Uh enjoy the show. We're live. Lindsay, welcome.

Thank you. Nice to talk to you finally in person.

Yeah, right.

Well, I guess this is what we call in person now.

Yeah, it is. It is for me. I mean, that's many people travel to northwest uh Montana to come.

Well, I told you we might be because we're taking an R V trip, but we'll talk more about that later.

Uh Lindsay, it's it's great to get you. I know we've um you know come back and forth on scheduling this, so I'm I'm glad we we made the time and stuck to it. There's a lot of different things. I I always I always love talking to people who have who have had athletics um as a big part of their life too, because I feel like it, I don't know, I resonate with that. Just you know, it was something that I've always been a big part of my life and a hugely defining piece too. And um, you know, you you're now our mindset code. I I'll let you get into what you do now. Um, but I would love for you to just share a little bit of your story, kind of how you got to where you are and and you know, uh inform our audience before we get into some really deep stuff.

Sure. So my name is Lindsay Wilson, actually Lindsay Wilson Nichols. Um and currently I'm a wife and mom and entrepreneur, um, which of course is a big focus. All three of those things are a big focus in my life right now. Um, but in my previous life, I was a collegiate and professional basketball player and um really got passionate about mindset from a pretty young age. I dealt with um, you know, at the time seemed like really intense um mental training challenges. And now I realize that uh they're pretty common actually. Um at 16, I knew I wanted to play Division I basketball. I knew that I had the work ethic. I was getting up at 5:30 in the morning, I was running hills, like I look back and I like I was driven. Um and I just had it in my mind that this was gonna happen. And I hit the mental wall. Uh, I started worrying a lot about what other people thought. I, you know, as a basketball player, so I was passing when I should have been shooting, I was shooting when I should have been passing, and I was thinking way too much on the court. Uh, didn't have any confidence. Um, you know, it's it was teenage years, right? So there's the peer pressure, there's the body changing, there's like all these things. But as many of your listeners know, as an athlete, you know, you have a pretty small window to figure this stuff out. And it when it passes, it's gone. And um, and so of course that uh time limit didn't exactly help from a pressure standpoint either. And and really I remember um being very emotional and very um upset because I knew my dreams were sort of slipping away. My my mom, actually, who um was a little bit more hands-off, my dad was the one getting up with me at 5:30 in the morning, but my mom obviously saw me in pain and ended up talking to a coworker who knew a coach who was a specialist in mindset work. And this was, you know, 20 years ago. And so that wasn't really a thing. I mean, it's still not really a thing, I don't think. It's starting to be. Um, and I started working with this coach, and literally within two months, I was getting division one um scholarship opportunities, and my whole mindset shifted. I mean, I started working, and it was really basic things. It was like positive self-talk. Um, I think the crux of it was really that I was in control of my mindset, which was a revolutionary shift for me. Um, certainly it's just confidence work in general, positive affirmations, visualization. Um, so you know, not rocket science, none of the stuff really is, in my opinion, but um combining that with my hard work, and I had some talent for sure. That's a big part of it, of course. Um, but that doesn't really mean much if you can't turn it on during performance. Went on to play Division I basketball at Iowa State University, honorable mention all American, um, had a really great career there. Um, also had one really bad year with my team, my senior year, which also taught me a lot. And then I went on to play professionally for about eight years after that and continued to just dive into the mindset work. And I think became really passionate about it because I saw the changes in myself, but also because I looked around and in fact I just talked to one of my old teammates who didn't have the career she wanted. And, you know, in our now 15-year retrospect, she can say it was all mindset. You know, she was actually more talented than I was. Um, but I saw a lot of my friends and teammates and of course opponents struggle with the mindset, and I really felt like I had an edge. Um, so I just continued to dig deeper and deeper. I started working with a hypnotist in my 20s and became certified in hypnosis. And he sort of taught me, I would call I always call him like my graduate level because he taught me about Zen and mindfulness. And again, this was probably 12 years ago. That was new to me at least. And I didn't really understand at first why it was important. You know, why, why, what is breathing, except for breathing well when you're you know doing sprints, have to do with anything of anything. Can I just work harder? But um, you know, it worked before, and so I got really into hypnosis and just mindset work in general, and just sort of nerded out on it and began teaching it, and um started with a lot of um collegiate athletes and started working with some a lot of top BCS schools, to be honest, because nobody was really doing it. And um just yeah, just continued from there and kept building my business. And now I certify other coaches um to work with clients as well. So that's that.

Yeah, awesome. You know, it's curious. I you know, hearing you tell your story. I mean, obviously, I makes me reflect back on a lot of things um in my sports career and watching my brother. Um, but one of the things you said is you you knew, and I don't think I was aware of this back in in my athletic days, is like I wasn't aware that I had a small window with time. Yeah, you know, I essentially had you know my high school career and my college career. And in water polo is a sport I played. Like, you know, there was there was club opportunities and I competed for a very long time at club level, but I didn't really think the whole time, like, oh, my window is shrinking. And I wonder how I would have done what I would have won differently if I had done that, like how I would have chosen the school I went to, you know.

Yeah.

Well, it's it's an interesting thing. Um, how aware were you of that when you were young?

Yeah, I remember being very aware of it. And I don't know that it, I mean, I guess it helped me in the sense of like, I gotta figure this out. Yeah. But it also was like, excuse my language, oh shit, like I gotta figure this out.

That's what I was saying.

That can be a bad thing too, you know, because it was like, you know, the more you try, which I couldn't articulate that at the time, but now that I'm a mindset coach and I've lived in and I've seen it, literally, the harder you try, the worse it gets, right? And so um, you know, that's where like the Zen and the mindfulness stuff helped me so much. It's like this sense of like, and that works sometimes, right? Like I was the kind of athlete that many, I think successful athletes are in the sense of like, if something's wrong, I'm fixing it. If the ball needs to go into the basket, it's gonna be me. If I need to run through a brick wall, that's gonna happen. You know, that mentality is really good until it's not. And um, I I think at a young age, maybe that mentality is really good. You know, that leads to aggression, that leads to um a strong work ethic. But trying harder is not always the solution because you just get kind of hard headed. And um, you know, again, that work sometimes I could take over games, and then other times it was like it just got me in foul trouble, right? So it's like um that sense of being able to pull back and let go was a very foreign concept to me. I mean, that was like, but on the other hand, I think that's a little bit easier to teach, not that it's easy, it's not an easy thing to teach than trying to get somebody to ramp up and care, right? Uh, I know for a lot of coaches, you know, you'd rather have that person that like wants to run through a brick wall than the person that doesn't want to get up off the couch, right? So there is that balance. And yet, um, it didn't take me until I was a lot older, I think, to really be okay. Because there's a lot of fear that goes into letting go, right? Of like, well, the only reason I'm actually good, honestly, I'm five nine and I can't jump. Really, the only reason that I'm good is because I just worked my ass off and I always pushed harder. And so the idea of not pushing harder and trusting that that was okay was like a totally other level for me. And it literally wasn't until I was playing professionally in my 20s that I even understood that and was ready to try it, you know? And um and some of my athletes that are that are a lot younger are ready for that. Um, it just kind of depends on their experience and their maturity, but that's a pretty I think that's definitely next level for me at least. And I've learned that in my life and in my business too, right? I mean, this is all applicable to everything's applicable to everything in my opinion.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, business and sport are so cl I mean, almost identical in so many ways, right? The different factors of success and how hard you work, and like I'll I'll find myself doing the same things in business that I did in sport. Yeah. Like I'll wake up, my my alarm goes off, still goes off at 5 15 every morning, same it did in high school. Right. Like I just I'm like, I feel like I I have to if I don't get up then and then I get guilty. I'm like, I'm not working hard enough, right? Like on my own psychosis. But you know, it's interesting. Like my my first, I guess, foray of or awareness of mindset was when my brother was a really, you know, he's a stud swimmer, got a all-American full ride to Long Beach State. And, you know, great practice swimmer, but sometimes would crumble a competition, right? At a swim meeting. I remember when my parents brought in a sports psychologist and they started doing all those things. You're talking about hypnotism. I was like, I was seven years younger. I was like, what is going on in my brother's bedroom right now?

Why is there a voice?

Well, eventually, you know, if he's listening to this, he'll he'll sorry, Chris, but you know, he burned out. You know, he he gave the scholarship, he went, you know, to Jose State, did something different after a couple of years in college. And um it's it's hard. I mean, there's a lot of pressure, you know, at to be put on kids at a young age, which is okay. I mean, pressure's not bad, right? By itself, it can put it depends on how you use it. And I think that's probably what you talk about in mindset as well. But it's there, it's a lot. And uh, I think ultimately who puts the most pressure, it's not exterior, it's ourselves. And that's something that you know, um my business partner and and you know, mentor as well, Ken, is has told me he's like, Eric, your goals are so incredibly high that you put your you put yourself under so much pressure on a day-to-day basis to perform. Yeah, you know, maybe like keep the goals, yeah, but maybe just be aware, right? And I think probably I'm curious as we dive into like how you coach people through mindset, but is what is a first step? Is it awareness? Like how how do you start working people through that?

Are you talking about um athletes or business people or both?

Well, how do they differ?

It's kind of the same. Yeah, no, you're right. It is um, you know, I think the the one difference, and the reason I asked that is because athletes, um, you know, I mean, there's such an an easy way to measure your success, right? Whereas when people come with their life, it's like I have feel overstressed because of my kids and I don't know where to go with my business and I hate my job. And, you know, there's usually like this constellation of challenges. Um, and yet, so some of the work I think is diving into what it is. Um, whereas athletics, it's a little more cut and dry, um, which is one of the wonderful things about athletics, is it is especially at a young age, because it is there's less there's well, team sports, I think it's a little different. There, there's gray area for sure, but um it is nice to have that measuring stick. Um, and and that can be a comfort as well. So I would say for athletes, a lot of times they come with like, yeah, they're struggling with competition or they have no confidence. And a lot of these things are related, right? It's not like it's only one thing. Um, a lot of them don't know how to let go and deal with pressure. Um, and and for that, I would say some of it is um awareness and and reframing. So you can talk about stress. I mean, you were quick to say pressure is good, and a lot of it is our um our impression or perception of stress and pressure. So there was like some really, and I'm not gonna quote it exactly, but there was some really interesting research as to um heart health. And basically what they looked at is they um they looked at people's perception of whether they thought stress was good or bad. And the people that thought that stress was actually good had better health, you know, whenever they looked back um later, um, with the same sort of baseline um, you know, exercise routine and diet and everything like that. It was really their mindset in regards to stress that actually changed their body's reaction to it, which I think is fascinating. And yet I totally believe in it, right? It's like when you're talking to an athlete and they think butterflies mean they're not ready, or they think, well, that's just my body, that's how I ramp up. It's a good thing. And that is such a small thing to think, oh, fear, my body's stress reaction is designed for this exact situation. This is my body telling me I'm ready versus this is my body telling me I'm not ready. You know, so through your brother or whoever, and swimming is like, you know, these individual sports where there's a ton of pressure, you're, you know, kind of naked out there, um, is a great training ground for these kinds of things because there's really no other distraction, there's no teammates or coaches screwing you up, it's all you. And so um, when people are in that situation, if they believe, you know, sweaty palms and increased heart rate and butterflies in their stomach, if they believe, oh, that's my body, this is what my body's supposed to do. This is how I perform at my best. Imagine going in with that mindset versus like, oh shit, the butterflies are here. No one else is feeling butterflies. Michael Phelps never feels butterflies. Like it's all BS, right? I mean, that is so not true. And yet we are taught that pressure and stress and fear are really bad things. And when you change that perspective, then that of course that's applicable to life too. Like if I'm in my business and I'm thinking, oh, it's gonna it's gonna be uncomfortable for me to raise my rates, or I have to do this really scary thing on Facebook Live, or I have to be interviewed, you know, or I have to speak in front of all these people. If I think that being nervous about that is a sign that I'm not ready for that, versus, well, that's what I'm supposed to do to grow. And I've had those experiences before and I've overcame them. And that also motivates me to get my PowerPoint together and you know, practice ahead of time. And and I, you know, and this mindset of like, I rise up to the challenge versus that challenge is bigger than me. And so those perception things are crucial. And when I work with, when I certify my coaches in our mindset coach certification, that first month is all about them. We do um, we do something that scares us, and we talk about our reaction to it, we get out of our comfort zone, we give something up that we want, you know, and we start working on that discipline and reminding ourselves because all these people are former athletes for the most part, and maybe they've lost themselves along the way, but they remind themselves that they are powerful beyond belief. And when they do that, everything shifts. Change and these things, like I told you earlier, like someone's lost 45 pounds in three months during our mindset coach certification. And by the way, we talk 0% about exercise and fitness and diet. They just change their mindset and they decide that they are the kind of person that's bigger than the weight, that's bigger than the challenge of losing weight, and they just do it in a way that is different than anything they've done before. And all that comes down to the subconscious brain, which we can go into as well. But um, yeah, I can nerd out on this stuff all day. So that was kind of a long answer, but that's where we start. We start with with awareness and this and changing things from a subconscious level. That's basically in a nutshell. Because if you don't do that, it change doesn't mean anything. You can just you can keep trying and you'll self-sabotage every second of every day without even knowing it, really.

Yeah. Well, it's that that's an interesting topic, right? It's self-sabotage because I think um, you know, I I've like what's uh Gail Hendricks, you you read his book.

Um I haven't read it, but I know the name.

Uh it'll come to me during this interview, but a lot of that talks about self-sabotage or ceilings that we put on ourselves, right? And then you know, once I read that book, I'm like, oh my God, like this this defines a lot of things that I do. And then I see in you know my clients' lives and the people I work with and and everything. And it's it's pretty crazy. Like, um, you know, I'm trying to think of you know, let's say you're in a you're in a relationship, you're in a marriage, right? And things are going so well, you're super happy. You're like, oh, this is the happiest. Like someone in the relationship or both will find some way to screw that up subconsciously, right? Because maybe they think, well, I you know, I don't deserve a super happy marriage. Yeah, right. Right. And that's that that happens a lot. And people just aren't aware of it. How we self-sabotage things when things like if you're feeling like things are going too well, you know, something something's gonna happen. It's just kind of you're no, you're making that shit happen because that's what you're looking for. Right. So let's let's dive into that. Self-sabotage is is a meaty topic.

Oh yeah. So there's a couple um, there's a couple of things that um I'm just gonna write this down before I forget. So um, there's a couple of things. One is um, gosh, what is the name? There's there's this analogy called the elephant and the rider. I don't know if you've ever heard that, right? And it's basically the idea is our our conscious brain is riding on top of this elephant, and the elephant is the subconscious, and we think we're in control, right? We say, I of course, I want to make more money, I want to have a perfect spouse, I want to have a great job, I want to be happy. And then we don't do the inner work to change our self-belief and our inner thoughts and our inner self-worth, like you said. And we believe, you know, let's take money mindset. We believe, and this this is a big thing that I've worked on because I didn't grow up with money. And so it's like, um, you know, when I started diving into it, I realized I had ideas of like, you can't possibly help people and make money. That's a big belief a lot of people have. Um I believe, or I should say, I believe, and then this wasn't necessarily a conscious thought, but like rich people can be kind of assholes, right? A lot of people think that, right?

Yeah.

Yeah. And whether they say that out loud, you know, we all have these money mindset things that we grew up with. And so the that's what the elephant believes. And we think, well, of course I want to maximize my income. Of course I want to make as much money and have as much life freedom as possible. And yet, when we are not working on training our elephant, the elephant is going towards poor land. And we're working hard. You know, we're getting clients, we're at our computer all day, we're doing our marketing, we're doing everything. And yet we have not trained our elephant to believe we are worthy of money, that you can make money and have a great impact in the world, that rich people make, you know, do wonderful things. When I'm a rich person, I'm gonna do wonderful things with my money. It's great for the world. And we haven't worked on that. So the elephant's going one direction, we're trying to go the other, and we wonder why shit's so hard. And we think hard work is always the solution. Like, I just gotta hustle more. And it's like, well, yeah, definitely hard work, as we all know, is a part of success, but it's not the only thing. And if you're not training your subconscious elephant, it is gonna take you in a direction that you don't want to go. Then you lay on top of that other thoughts, like, see, things are really hard for me. It's just easier for other other people are smarter. And so then we reinforce that with other negative thoughts that just that don't ever change the elephant. And again, we're we're self-sabotaging and we're thinking that hard work equals success when really it's the mindset stuff that leads to the actions which lead to the result that we actually want. And so stepping back and taking that time. The other thing you mentioned was um self-sabotage. So one of the things that we talk about a lot in my mindset coach academy is the reticular activating system. So part of self-sabotage is recognizing that we only see what we want to see. So, for example, if any of your listeners have ever decided on buying a new car, um, you know, for us when we decided to have kids, or when we had one kid and we were gonna have another and another, we decided we're gonna get a minivan, right? Never paid attention to minivans. I thought minivans were corny. Now you could not tear that thing away from me with automatic doors. But anyway, so we we decided we're gonna get a minivan. All of a sudden, I see minivans everywhere, right? Every single place I go, I am noticing that almost everybody has a minivan. Now, they did not just go out and buy minivans. I wasn't paying attention to it. So when we then tell our brain what to look for, we actually see opportunities that were there the entire time. We just chose not to look for them because we had not told our brain, there's a lot of stuff coming in, right? We can't take in all this information. So when you decide, for example, like, you know, I was just talking to my friend that's a that's a um a trainer in preparation for this, because I just wanted to get in her mindset. You know, when you decide of like a certain kind of client is out there for you, you suddenly start seeing those clients everywhere. You sit next to one on a plane, you know, you get a referral from a friend, you someone contacts you on Facebook. And it's not that those people weren't there before, it's that you decided they were out in the world, just like I decided the mini bands were, and then you actually see that because you have to tell your brain what to look for. Otherwise, it just starts zoning things out. It can only pay attention to so much, otherwise, we would go absolutely nuts. And so um, that's why visualization is so important. That's why being really clear on our goals, you know, the being vague and like, I want to be successful, like nobody knows what that means. Your brain certainly doesn't. And so getting really clear about what that is and telling your brain what to look for is really one of the most powerful exercises you can do from a success, a mindset success standpoint. Um, you know, I have little exercises people do just kind of prove that to themselves. But one, it would be, you know, think of a car that you want and literally see how often you see it in the next couple days. You will be blown away.

Yeah. Well, I that I that exact same thing happened. So I always wanted a uh a sprinter van conversion. Oh yeah, we do. And uh so we got we got one, right? We do cool. And uh, you know, when I first I'm like, yeah, they're they're nowhere, right? Like I just don't see these things. And then I then I told him like them, we're we're gonna get one. I'm like making this happen. So I started shopping around. All of a sudden they're freaking everywhere. And she's like, Oh, I don't know, they're really popular now. I'm like, no, they're I don't think they are. I think we just see them everywhere. Like they were just we were just blind to them before. And that car, the car one is probably one of the best because it's it's it's true. And you know, I was talking to um a client uh the other day who has a great service. Um he produces uh J at Prime Fit Content, he great, he produces content for people for fitness professionals trying to reach um people over the age of 50, right? He does all the the emails, he does the blogs. I'm like, what a great service. And he's like, Yeah, but you know, some people they just they're not. I'm like, well, you're talking to the wrong people. Like, who are the people that value this? They're people who already have done the email marketing and they hate doing it because they know it's time consuming, they see the value, they built a list. Like, just stop talking to everybody else.

Yeah, I mean, that's where we're talking about like business stuff, like that ideal client avatar stuff is like critical, critical. And um, yeah, I mean, the riches are in the niches, right? I mean, that's what I teach my um certification students all the time. And I don't think I did actually, I mean, not to go too much into that, but I don't think I did actually a really good job of that in the beginning because I felt like, oh, just cast your net wide, you know. And yeah, and in retrospect, maybe that was the best thing because it there wasn't a big market for it when I started, you know, 12, 14 years ago now. Um, but yeah, I mean, getting really crystal clear about what you are looking for in the world. And you know, a great example too for me is finding my husband. I um I sat and bitched and moaned. I was turning 30 and I was like, where is he? Like, you know, I just um from a mindset standpoint, I knew how to apply this stuff to performance and athletics. And frankly, I wasn't ready to apply it to finding a spouse at that point. And then all of a sudden I was, and I was like, okay, I'm ready. But I hadn't really done any of the mindset work. And I remember talking to a friend, um, and this was, you know, eight years ago or something. And I remember telling her, like, well, if you really want to find the right person, you need to be very clear, you know, I'm to give my own advice, right? You need to be very clear about who you're looking for, and you need to go out and do it, right? And so I was like, you need to get on like match.com. And that back then that was kind of like it wasn't weird, but it wasn't like everybody was doing it.

Right.

And I could hear myself telling her this, and then I could hear myself bitching about the fact that it wasn't working for me. And um, as soon as I got clear about who I was looking for, and my friends all joked because my match.com profile was, I was kind of like a bitch in the in a lot of ways, excuse my language, just like this is who I'm looking for, this is who I'm not looking for. So, like, this is it, you know. But once I got super clear about it, and of course then I was taking the action because I started believing that he was out there, um, I found him. And it was really exactly what I was looking for. And uh, and you know, just being really telling your brain that it's possible and that it is out there and what that out there is, um, was was so it's been so crucial for me in so many areas of my life. Um, and when you know people in my certification learn it, it's really pretty cool.

Yeah, yeah, that's awesome. Great messaging too. And okay, so subconscious, right? Um we can recognize and we can talk about changes that need to happen at a subconscious level. But I think the big question, what probably most people are listening, okay, great. How do I access my subconscious? How do I start changing my subconscious, right? That's something you it that's the that's the trick, right? Because it's not you can't just read a book and be like, okay, subconscious, go do your thing, right? It doesn't work like that. And I've I've played around with many things. I mean, um, I had Angela Anderson on um the show many, many episodes ago. We did some subconscious work, and um, I think it worked, right? I don't know, it's hard to measure. That's the other thing, is you can't, it's hard to measure. So, what do you how do you get people to access the subconscious? How do you prime the subconscious? I mean, you know, I I think I've talked on this show before. I have a very strict morning routine where, you know, I always take a take a cold shower, I follow with some Wim Hof breathing, listen to my goals, because I I feel like that is actually breaking in a little bit, right? If not a lot.

Yeah.

Um, but you got to stay with it, right? So what do you how what are some of the, I guess, lack of a better term, strategy or tactics you have for people to get in there and start changing things?

So I think the most um important thing is again being really clear about your goals. I have a five-step process. Um, I call it the braver. Um, and I attach that to my morning routine with I call it the my daily mindset beast, um, where I sit down and it's like five to ten minutes. Sometimes I journal, but I certainly do what I call the braver. And that's um, it's breathing. I have uh um like a reset word. Um, I do affirmations, visualization, and releasing. So when you're on your breath, you're releasing all the thoughts, you know, worries, stress essentially. Um, but even going sort of simpler than that, I would say breathing and visualization, I mean, you have to, you have to attach them to the affirmation or the goal that resonates with you. So you have to take time to do that, right? And you know, a lot of that is I always say, like, you know, every time I fly coach, I think, God, it'd be really nice to fly first class or have my own plane, right? And yet when I think about like my values and the way that I would spend my money, even if I had the money for that, uh, that's not where it would go, right? And so like visualizing that is one, it's not realistic, I don't think, and it's not in a line with my goal. So visualing visualizing myself with my own plane is not a good use of my time, right? Because I don't care about it really. Like it's that's more of a fantasy, right?

Right.

But but visualizing how much money I want to make and you know, my life balance and my freedom and being a good mom and all those things. Um affirmations are designed to evoke a picture and allow you to visualize that thing happening as if it's happening now. So a couple things about the subconscious that I think are important. One, we think that just repeating things over and over and over again, the subconscious is listening. It's not. Um, and a good example is you know, if I say, Eric, you're you're great at math, and you believe that you suck at math, it doesn't matter if I tell you that till you are blue in the face. Because what the subconscious does is it wants to be right. So it'll say, Yeah, you know, Eric's subconscious will say, Yeah, Lindsay, okay, I hear you. You're a great teacher, you're a great mentor. I hear what you're saying, but I remember that one math test where I failed. And even if you had other math tests that you didn't fail, you will remember that one because the subconscious wants to be right. We are talking about a two-ton elephant, and it wants to be right, and it's gonna be right. So it'll find all the evidence that it takes to be right. Um, so it doesn't understand language very well, you know, affirmations, um, positive self-talk, it all matters, but it has to be repetitive and it has to be over a long time. And you have to attach it then to visual visual uh visuals because the subconscious understands emotions, stories, and visuals, images. So that's the reason that, and it can't tell the difference between real and imaginary. So when you go to a scary movie, we feel like we're in the house with the axe murderer and we feel that fear, which is why a lot of us, some of us, not me, like scary movies because we feel like we're experiencing that without actually having to. And that's the subconscious brain. So that's why we tell our kids bedtime stories that have lessons in them, instead of saying, you know, be nice to your sister. We'll tell a story or read a book that talks about a big sister that's great to her younger sister. And so we understand that and we don't reject that as quickly as someone just saying, do this, right? And be this. Um, because the subconscious really wants to protect its own self-image and it's really good, right? So we don't, we're not a different person every day. So there's positives to this as well. So understanding how the subconscious works is really, really important. And so when we understand visuals, we believe that that thing that we're seeing is happening right now. So if I see myself writing myself a check for a certain amount and I put myself there and I put the emotions there, that is going to be far stronger than me saying, Well, honey, I want to make a million dollars. That means nothing to your subconscious. Zero. Because then I go into my money mindset of like, well, rich people are assholes, right? So it's like that doesn't fit. And so um really understanding how your subconscious works and then prioritizing taking that time. And I would say again, it's affirmations, visualization, breathing allows us to connect with our subconscious, but really it's the deep work of visualization that makes the biggest imprint. And it's not, and then of course, having a practice, right? It's not a one-time thing. You don't just get to this stuff, isn't it? If it was easy, everybody would do it, right? It's not like a one-time thing, you just tell your elephant to go find money. It's like a constant thing because you're gonna get evidence in your life, especially early on, that doesn't match up with that, right? Because it's not a you don't just flip a switch. And so you're gonna get evidence, and so you have to process that evidence and still maintain that this thing that you want, this amount of money or this relationship is possible despite reality. And that's really the crux of it, right? Is like it doesn't happen overnight. So, how do you hold on to? I remember when I was trying to be an all-American, like I was gonna get redshirted my freshman year. How do I hold on to that belief when I'm on the bench? That is not an easy thing to do. And yet, if I just keep convincing myself that I'm a bench warmer, I will never get there. And a lot of people really give up on that. That's you know, that's kind of human nature to protect ourselves, say, well, I didn't want that anyway.

So it's it's it's um there's so many places in my mind goes on this. And I think number one, you know, you you mentioned goals, like being very, very clear in your goals. And I'm I think everybody thinks they know they have goals, but I'm actually I'm gonna take a wild guess and say that like 95% of the people on the planet have no idea what they actually want out of life. Like that's that's I mean, I I have no statistical basis for that. I'm just thinking about people I know, people I talk to. Um, like really, like, you know, maybe they have they have some superficial goals that are handed down to them. Well, I want a home and you know, 2.3 kids, and you know, I want to travel when I retire. Well, yeah. No, no shit, everybody wants that. Right. Right. But no, what are your goals? Like, what is specifically do you really want? And are you are you writing them down? Are you going over them? Are you looking at them constantly? Like my goals are constantly changing, but it's it's different. Like, I just add a goal of like, you know, in 10 years, I want to have my culinary degree.

Yeah.

Because I want that. I don't want to be a chef. I just really love cooking.

Yeah.

You know, and that's what I want. And that's like a unique goal to me. I'm like, well, how cool is that? I'll have my club be able to like, I'll know chefs, I'll be able to do things in the kitchen and serve food for people. I'm like, that's a really cool goal to me, right? And there's an emotional attachment to that for some reason. I don't know why.

Yeah.

But most people have no idea. They just have these goals. Well, I want to be at, you know, 10K a month.

Right.

Well, what does that get you?

Yeah.

Why? Why 10K?

Right.

How much money is enough?

Mm-hmm.

That's a big thing, too. Is like, you know, you know, I look at these people and and the first class thing is really funny in flights, right? Because I I used to be like, oh, I want to fly first class. And then I came to think like this doesn't align with my values at all. I walk by the people in first class now and not telling me. Like sucker. Yeah, I'm like, what are you paying for? Like, there's a million things. Like the difference between my ticket and your ticket, you know what I would do with that? Totally.

I mean, I will do it if it's an upgrade or some alpha buy.

Yeah, I'm going to Japan, right? Like, right. Congratulations. You just took a two-hour flight and you did first class. Like that. And that's the other thing, is people really don't know their values either. And values dictate goals. And there's a whole lot of self-exploration that people are not. That's why I think a field like yours is fascinating because it's wide open. Like wide open.

Yeah, it's really um, you know, like I said, I used to just focus on how this applies to performance in athletics. Then I started working more with coaches and saying, okay, you know, the first life you change is your own, you know, because I I really started realizing that one for myself, I um the better I got at being a mindset coach was because I was working on my own mindset. Like I was my guinea pig, I was growing in that aspect, and I continue to grow. This is not a destination by any means. Um, but the more I dive into these things and practice them on my own, the better coach I am. And so the same goes for um my clients that want to influence other people, um, the more they dive into it, um, the better they are. But yeah, I mean, I think when when I'm working with um a group, um, certainly adults that are trying to improve their lives, we definitely go into like pillars, you know, like what are the things that like at the end of the day really matter for you, you know, and and of course, and I have four of them. Um, and when I look at those, it's so much easier to set goals and even tasks. Um, because really, when you're talking about our our thoughts about ourselves, our thoughts lead to emotions. And our emotions then are the things that cause action, which cause results. And if we don't dive into our innermost thoughts and our innermost emotions, you know, we can try to make changes from the outside, you know, we can try to lose weight, we can try to be healthier. But if that doesn't, and and you know, hypnosis, this is why it works for smoking cessation, to be honest. I never really got into it, I was trained in that, but I never really got into it. But, you know, a lot of it is like, why do you want to quit smoking? Is it because everybody tells you that you should, or is it because you don't want to get cancer someday and have your kid watch you on a ventilator? You know, when you're really talking about emotions, that is what causes us to take action. There is nothing else that causes us to take action, right? And so um diving into that, it actually makes things so much easier. Doesn't mean it's easy, doesn't mean it's not hard work, but it makes things easier because we're not fighting against ourselves, we're not trying to pull this elephant over to this place. The elephant doesn't want to go because no one's told him how great it is over there, and he doesn't see the picture, she doesn't see the picture. So um getting that really in line um can be really helpful, you know. And there's people that start my training or think they want to do it, and it's like they don't actually want to start their own business, which is totally fine. They don't want to hustle, they don't want the uncertainty that is not in line with who they are and what they want in their life, and that's okay, you know. I mean, everybody thinks that we all own our own business to sit here behind our laptop and drink margaritas, right? And it's like, you know, because we can work from anywhere, and like that is not it. And so, um, you know, there is ups and downs, and there are days when you think this was like the absolute wrong path. And so your why, getting really clear about that, is is huge because that's your motivation, that's your fuel that keeps you going when things are hard. If you don't have that, you'll quit, you'll self-sabotage, you'll think everybody else is it's easier for them, they're smarter, they have business experience, instead of saying, you know what, I don't have any business experience, but I'm gonna figure it out because this is what I want and this is why. So I think your your why thing is really, really critical. Actually, that's one of our first steps when I um have my clients decide if they want to be a mindset coach.

Yeah. Well, I mean, I remember when I read the power of now, and then I'm like, oh wow, we're all crazy. Yeah.

Yeah, that's it.

That was that was the first realization. Like, we're all crazy. Okay, cool. And like as soon as you come to that realization, is like everybody has the same shit going on in their head. Like, it doesn't matter what Instagram says or what their content looks like. And that's something that kind of bothers me about the coaching and consulting business is everyone puts out this thing like they all got their shit together.

Right.

And the authenticity, I think nowadays it's starting to break through, like, well, no, be authentic with your people, let them know, like you're talking about like I'm going through the same journey. I just maybe one or two steps ahead of you.

Totally. Right.

I'm reading one chapter ahead, but I can help you because I just did it. And sharing that story is is really critical. And I I'm like, you know, I I I talk to people, right? And I'll see people in their website, and they'll be like, you know, looks like they're killing it. And then, you know, get get them on a one-on-one call and they're like, Yeah, I just I don't I don't know what I'm doing. You know, like I'm I'm getting crushed right now. Like I spent all this money on my website, nothing's converting. Like, and you get and you get, well, why are you like go share that story? Like I guarantee you'll attract people because that people want to be part of something that they understand. And that that's a big part of it. I'm really curious, Nindzi, what what are your four pillars? Can you share those?

Yeah, so um I have um be a good wife and mommy, um, which of course is important to me. I have financial freedom. Um, I have um how do I word it? Um I usually have it up here. I don't know where I put it. I must have taken a picture of it. Um I have um like like help people, you know, like I want to influence and help people. That's a big part of who I am, and then really take care of myself. So when I hit those four, and you know, like any person, especially I would say working parents, it's like a it's like I get this kind of taken care of and then this all goes to shit, you know? And so it's it's a constant, um Reminder, but I do have I do have goals with that. And then I have affirmations that really sort of embody all that. So, like what I do is I don't always go over the four pillars, but it influenced my affirmation, which includes, and I literally have one that is very, very specific. It has the amount of money I want to make. Um, it has that I'm influencing and helping people, and it has how many hours I work. So I only work about 20 to 25 hours a week. And for me, that like allows me to then cook dinner for my kids and pick them up from daycare and be home and be present. And um, and then I have little tasks under that. Like I turn my phone off at night or try to at least put it on do not disturb so it's not dinging all the time. And you know, as far as taking care of myself, like I just took a trip with my girlfriends and that hadn't happened in you know five years or something. So, like little things like that that are like maybe not necessarily a one-time thing, but smaller things that I can do that then support that affirmation. But that affirmation is the thing that I do in my daily beast, and then I see it happening. And then, you know, I have specific things that I see all the time. Like I see the amount of money that I write myself. Um, but then my imagination also comes up with new things. Like, what does it actually mean to take care of my body and my mind? You know, like um, and that may change depending on where I am and and what I'm doing and and that kind of thing. But I let my subconscious really try to figure that out. And so again, it kind of works backwards of like I have my affirmation that is in it basically includes without necessarily saying all of it, all the things that all the pillars that are important to me. And um, so that's how I organize it and that's how I teach it to my clients. But then it's that daily practice, right? I mean, I can't um just do that work and then expect for it to happen in my life because again, I'm gonna have evidence, I'm gonna have things working against me, including myself, right? Like we constantly, and and I I've I think this is where I've grown a lot as an entrepreneur, is like getting really disciplined about my time and my priorities, because not everything is important. It feels like it, and it feels like, well, if I just sit in front of my cute computer for enough hours every day, good things are gonna happen. And that is complete bullshit. Not to mention the fact that I don't want to do that because I want time with my kids. And um, so getting really clear and prioritizing, and of course, for me, delegating um has been really helpful, but I can't do that if I'm not in the right mindset because I can't sort through everything. And so I have to get out of that like just work, just sit in front of your computer and work. Because that doesn't really work. I've tried that, and you don't really make that much progress.

Yeah. That's that's an interesting thing too, is um, you know, one of my uh one of my goals or you know, one of the things I strive for and I listen to on a daily basis, because my my my goals are all recorded in my own voice as if they're now.

Nice, because you already doing all that stuff.

And uh you know, one of them is I work 30 hours a week, no more.

Yeah.

That's it. You know why? Because what's the fucking point?

You're doing it wrong if you need more time than that.

Yeah, like and I can look, I just even in our conversation now, I added three more things to my to-do list. Like I could create a to-do list like a pro, right? I could think of a million things I want to accomplish on a day, but ultimately, like when I do it, I just go and I star the things that I think are important. I try to limit it to three per day, right? And I get those done. You know what? The thing is, you can usually get it done before 9 a.m. But then we're like, well, I'm not busy enough. I should be doing something else. Yeah, just let that marinate.

Yeah.

Right? And uh God forbid I get stuck on email. I mean, email is the worst. Like it's the worst. Like I am, I'm a full-on email addict. I don't know why it just happens, but I think a lot of people are. Um, there's a question I want to get back to on all this stuff. So do you use vision boards?

Is that something that you Yeah, mine just mine is uh it just fell down. I had it tacked it to the wall. Um that sticky tape doesn't like works for like a little while and then it's and then it falls. Um, but yes, I do. And um I like them. I don't um I like my affirmations better and my visualization um because I think it's it's deeper.

But I I how do you do how do you do the visualization? You just kind of think of the thing.

So I again, well, I use um I use a really good planner, you know, so I kind of have everything in one place. And then I again I do my pillars and then I do my affirmation. I mean, you can have more than one affirmation, but I just kind of include everything in like this one statement.

Yeah.

Um, and then I do the braver. So I I breathe and release five times. Um, and actually, I think I have a link that I can I'm trying to think. Well, the braver is a paid thing, but um I'm trying to think. I have an article I can put give you for the the show notes that walk through how to do it. Um and I also have uh the daily beast that I teach. Um, I have a uh the worksheet for that as well that I can give you. Um so I I do that and I do my affirmations and then I visualize. And I actually use a reset word um as well. Mine is be present. What's a phrase? Mine is be present. So you can think of it as a mantra. The reason that we call it a reset word is it was originally um part of our mistake ritual with our with our athletes. So, like if you make a mistake, what do you do in that moment, right? Everybody wants to know what the magic thing is, and so giving them something to do in that moment as an anchor is kind of part of our whole foundational work. But it's just as applicable in life to just have that moment that you can go back to with a mantra or or we call it a reset word and a breath throughout the day, and practicing that in that braver and in that um larger mindset work in the morning um is really, really helpful. And you know, I'm like anybody, right? Like I start my day and my brain tells me that I should be checking my email or getting on Facebook or whatever feels busy because it's easier than doing the mindset work. And sometimes I listen. Like I didn't do it this morning because I was rushed and you know, we had it early and I had to get the kids ready. And and yet when we get off this, and before I open my computer and start working, I need to do that because then the work is more aligned with what I say I want. You know, otherwise it just does whatever is really easiest, even though I think I'm working hard, it's it what what feels good in this moment, and that that's not always the right thing for your life, you know, it doesn't necessarily align with what you're working towards. And so prioritizing that time um is super important for me because you can work, like I said, and you know, you can work, work, work. And if you're doing the wrong things, like it doesn't matter. It really doesn't. And so um I see that a lot with with my clients, and I see with myself, of course. You know, that's it's just a constant battle of like, okay, let's get the elephant on board before we just knock things out. Um, so that's part of my challenge for sure.

Awesome. Lindsay, this has been jam-packed with uh a lot. I mean, I I think this stuff's super valuable. I think it it everything else is really kind of pointless without having the right mindset. And it's you know, it's a mindset's a hot topic. It's kind of a buzzword nowadays, but I think it's misunderstood. And um, you know, especially if if people are, you know, said this hundreds of times within the fitness and health industry. It's so well, the fitness industry, it's it's entrepreneurial by nature because like no one's gonna grow your you're not gonna walk into a six-figure fitness career out of college.

Right.

Right? You got to make it happen. Yeah, and you gotta have the right mindset, and you have to come at it every day with intention. And I think it's the biggest thing is you know, are you coming at your day with intention and focus and making the the needle move? And all that comes with some deep work that needs to get done on yourself. And if you're a business coach, if you're a consultant, if you're a fitness consultant, any whatever it is, if you're helping people grow, and what I love about your if you're not starting with you, then what the fuck are you doing? Right? Because you don't really know, and you know it. And if you're listening right now and you're like, yeah, I'm I need to do some work. There, you're like, ah, you yeah, they're right. I really do. I feel like a phony, right?

And your clients know it too, it even if they wouldn't be able to articulate it. I've noticed telling you earlier, like I remember so specifically, and this is like is in ingrained in my brain, and something I think about, it's an extreme example. But I remember when I was playing professionally overseas, and there was a doc team doctor that told me I needed to lose weight. And like, if I did, it was probably like five pounds, right? It wasn't like I was running around totally overweight, but he decided I needed to lose weight. So we're having this meeting and he's telling me this. And meanwhile, he's chain smoking like one cigarette after another. And I'm thinking to myself, like, you're you're giving me health advice, you are chain smoking two packs of cigarettes a day. I'm pretty sure my five pounds is not a big deal. Um, and I try to think about that often. Like, if if you're not so many of my clients want to learn this stuff to teach it to others because everybody else needs to be needs it. And yet, if they are not living it, they're not as good at teaching it. And it it just doesn't, it just smells of inauthenticity. And then they don't have the confidence because they haven't seen the transformation themselves. So when we're going through the Mindset Coach Academy, we're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, we're not talking about working on clients until you have embodied this stuff yourself. Because it's if it's for their own good too, like it makes it a lot harder to sell. I mean, you know, the easy thing for fitness professionals is like you don't want to be in the overweight fitness professional and try to get clients, right?

Agreed.

But if you're talking about working on mindset stuff, then it's harder to see, it's harder to notice, but it's equally important, if not more. You know, if you are not living this stuff, you cannot influence people at the level that you want to. It just doesn't happen. And maybe you can get away with it for a while, but like you said, you you you kind of know deep in your heart, you know, that you're an imposter or whatever, but other people figure it out too. You know, they they can feel it. Um, and so I think that's a huge, huge part of this. Can I tell your um listeners about the the ebook if they're interested in mindset coaching?

Yeah, yeah, drop it all on us now. Or do people get a hold of the case?

So um, yeah, so positive performance training.com. There's a ton of resources for um a lot of it is earned towards sports um coaches, but I'm sure a lot of your um um uh listeners are either in that group or could still benefit from it because there's a lot of performance things, there's a lot of pre-practice things, which a lot of them could probably do before their sessions with their clients. But in particular, I talk about how to start a passion-filled, profitable mental training business. And um, I have people that go through my certification that are fitness professionals that want to add in another certification and another value-added service to working with their clients. Um, and so in that uh we have a free ebook that's the four steps and some of what we talked about, certainly starting with your why. And it's positive performance training.com forward slash four, the number four steps. And it's a free ebook that talks about how to start your passion built profitable mental training business. Um, because a lot of I know my friends and my clients that are in the fitness professional uh industry um really talk about how it's not about the exercises, it's not about the body, in fact. Um, it's more life coaching. And you know, I talked about this. Life coaching doesn't resonate with me. I mindset coaching does. I don't know if it's the athlete of me or what, but um, so a lot of people are actually adding in this certification to their existing credentials that they can then offer and of course raise their prices as well, but have that impact with their clients because a lot of them are doing it anyway. You know, they're the what during stretching or whatever, during their sessions, they end up helping their clients through stress, through performance things, through just life um goals and that kind of thing. And the the vehicle for them obviously is the body, but it ends up being a lot of this mindset work. And so if if your um listeners are interested in becoming certified as a mindset coach um or just interested in exploring it, it's positive performance training.com forward slash the number four steps.

Awesome. Yeah, and if you are in, you know, if you're a fitness professional and you're not addressing any mindset or at least attempting to, then you're you're missing the boat. You're not gonna last long.

So yeah, I was talking to my friend yesterday that's um a pretty successful um uh trainer here in Seattle, and she said, you know, the exercise in the body, that's actually the easy part. She's like, it is literally no. She's like, and and she said it's it in particular, which I think is so like resonates with me as working with people in the sports world, is she's like, if you can't get them past the fear, there is no exercise that you can teach them that makes a iota a difference. And so um you have to deal with that first, and that of course is such a big mindset piece. But um, you know, your listeners would know better than I am. But I I can imagine so many people come in with this, like, oh, I don't know how to do that, and I don't like my body, and you know, just all that that stuff. And of course, a lot of our coaches are dealing with that with their athletes. So um that's a big part of it for sure. So we teach all that, which is really fun.

Awesome, awesome. Well, Lindsay, thank you. Appreciate the time.

Thank thank you for uh for having me. This was a blast.

Yeah, it really was. Ladies and gentlemen, Lindsay Wilson. Hey fitness fans, don't leave yet. It's your host, Eric Malzone, and I have a quick favor to ask. Actually, three favors. So, number one, if you're a fan of our show, I ask you to do something that takes under three minutes. Go to iTunes, please, and subscribe to our show. Please, please, please. It means so much to us. It's so important. And then give us a favorable review. We would really, really appreciate it. And uh, I can't tell you how much it means and helps us out. So I know it takes two minutes of your day, and uh it means a lot to us. So please do that. Number two, go to our YouTube channel or Fitness Marketing Alliance, and uh please subscribe to our YouTube channel there. Number three, if you like this episode or any of the episodes that we've released, share it on social. That's huge, that's a big deal for us. And we're we put a lot of work into these episodes, uh trying to give you great actionable content uh for the fitness industry. So that would mean a lot. And that's it. So we have some big plans coming up for this show. I'll be talking about that in the next couple episodes. But thank you so much for listening. It means so much. And uh, if you have any questions, please reach out to me. I'd love to hear from everybody. Eric, E R I C at Fitness MarketingAliance.com.